he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
