she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
