JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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