I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize