I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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