We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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