he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its liver damage thursday
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