I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
