Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
