At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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