i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
