I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
