i may or may not be watching the land before time
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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