yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
