So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just cropdusted the office
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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