Having a random hookup so left but love u
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
