I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
