Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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