you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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