I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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