the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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