She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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