Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize