I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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