Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
