So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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