Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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