The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
