I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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