I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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