You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
