i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
