Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Come see our sink grown plant.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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