It was confusing and full of hummus
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
