once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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