and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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