nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
