the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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