He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need help removing her.
Don't make out with my wife yet
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
