I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize