Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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