I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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