Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
