there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize