My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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