he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
