She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
