let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
