I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
