He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
