I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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