Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize