I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you still have your period?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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