Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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