The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
