so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
