never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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