"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i dont even know how to be here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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