If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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