Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You can't motorboat a personality
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
