3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
